Love and marriage

Marriage is something that must be taken seriously. It is a commitment between two consenting adults, to devote their lives to each other, so that they can share and build a life together. It is not a commitment to be taken lightly.

My wife and I met almost eight years ago, and today we share our 4 year wedding anniversary.

Our relationship was not a conventional one. We met online, and lived 4000 miles away from each other in two different countries. Luckily for us, we had modern technologies to help maintain our relationship, through plane rides and the internet.

Brooke and I also have a lot in common. We each have similar interests and we have a common goal to make the most out of ourselves in life. She has become a great photographer, and we support each other in all our endeavors.

I think it is very important that you always sit down and talk to one another, listen to each other, and make each other feel better at the end of a hard day. A long relationship like Brooke and I’s, lasts because we have both learned to bite our lips and listen to what really bothers the both of us when we are annoyed or upset. We have both watched many tv shows and movies where the couple does not talk to each other, and we have seen in our daily lives couples break up over a mountain of trivial problems condensing into to one big one. Communication is the key to a long lasting relationship.

Another problem that young couples face especially is financial problems. It is always hard starting out, whether you are single or in a relationship. Money does not grow on trees, and there are many things to pay for. As of right now Brooke and I have an agreement, that we each take out an equal amount of money each week for gas and other things that we want personally, and enough to buy groceries together. The rest goes on bills and snowballing out debt. It has been a hard couple of months, but we are starting to see our debts paid down, and our dreams of buying a house together are coming into view. Currently we rent a nice town home, and we have nice vehicles in the driveway that we pay for monthly. Whenever we want to buy anything expensive, we look at our savings and figure out a way to afford it without going into more debt, or depleting a large chunk of the savings account. We also look at what the other person wants. Recently, Brooke wanted to buy a laptop, and I wanted to buy a shotgun. We decided that she could use some of the money from her photography since she will primarily use it for business purposes, and I’ll get the shotgun this spring, when we have more money in our savings account, since I am the primary contributor to it.

Just like checks and balances in government, we have checks and balances in our lives. I am quite proud of what we have achieved in our 4 years of marriage. We have a fully loaded house with furniture, including a king sized bed. A kitchen loaded with utensils bought by the family for our wedding. We also have modern computers, gaming consoles, and we have an amazing dog named Ben. Our live is very happy, and we have a structure in place that allows for us to go on vacation each year, and an emergency fund in case we need to fix anything.

What we have took 4 years to accumulate, which includes the sacrifices we’ve made along the way, and the hard work we made to get them. Brooke and I do not go out and party every weekend, and we both work very hard at our jobs. When we get home each evening, we take turns to cook for each other, clean the dishes, and tidy the house. Often I am the one who washes the cars, while she puts the laundry away. We both keep each other in balance, and help each other out where need be. We try our best not to rely on each other, instead we help each other when one of us isn’t feeling 100% or is exhausted, or simply too busy.

Our love has grown through the will to get through all the bad times, as well as enjoy all the good times. Our relationship has become hardened by short visits in our dating years, and long times apart. Today, and all the years we have been married so far, we have been able to see each other every day, and we never go to bed without saying that ‘I love you’.

I dedicate this post to my wife. Happy 4th anniversary sweet heart, I would not be the person I am today without you.

8 responses to “Love and marriage

  1. Sweetie, thank you so much! ❤ we have been thru so much together and calling you my husband beats ever statstic known to man. Thank you for sharing all these years with me so far ❤ im excited to see what seas our ship sails into next.

  2. I love this post! So good.We are blessed that the zen and monitary issues coincide at the early stages in married life. It’s those struggles whilst you still have that bliss that pave the road for what will come. My parents have been married for 63 years and my husbands for 53. That was our blueprint. yes, it matters. We still make choices on which we will buy but now they are bigger ticket items, although, we still sit down at the table and do a monthly budget. What a concept! We now put more away than we spend and that’s never easy. Thankfully my husband is a financial wizard and tight. I used to buck it but it’s his father’s imbedded teachings that have us where we are today. I of course, want to provide the best of everything in the home for him. That’s not cheap but we accumulated things over the years that make it a home. Much of that was at flea markets, roadside sales, and family stuff. I hate shopping! A huge plus.
    I’m rambling. Sorry. We had a young guy come the other evening and pick up wheels we had for sale. He told us that he used to live here in Lebanon and owned a construction Co. that he lost in ‘o9. They lost a lot. He has pre-teens now and said they almost packed it in with the marriage, but instead moved back to West Chester close to family and started over. He’s probably Rich’s age. That took guts but as we were sitting there discussing now world issues..he said to me, I would walk the streets naked and hungry as long as I had my family with me. I completely understood. While I don’t speak of my husband as openly, there is no crisis that would seperate us. I will live with him until death under any circumstances. period. The only thing I could think of that would rip my heart apart would be if he didn’t feel the same anymore. I’d have to be pretty bad! We’ve been through a ton. So my heart is full in reading this and I just know you guys are on the wonderful road of a life filled with everything you could ever imagine.
    God Bless and thank you for a look in to my early years with my husband. It gets sooo much better.

    • Thank you for sharing your stories. My parents have been married for over 30 years, and Brooke’s parents for over 20. Family is very important, and its good to hear about such stories. It makes the hard times easier and the good times more enjoyable. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Happy anniversary Paul and Brooke!

    By far the most important sentence in the article is this, in my opinion: “Communication is the key to a long lasting relationship.” Take it from someone who’s coming up on 22 years in May…..our 25th is right around the corner. Time flies.

    And Brooke…you look so much like your mom!

    • Definitely. Whether it was on headset during our dating years, or cuddled up in bed about to fall asleep during the last 4 years of marriage, we have always talked about our differences and our problems, and learned to make each other feel better. Congratulations on your long marriage!

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